


Budget Request Denied

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bureaucracy, Crack, Gen, Humor, Mad Science, Office, Paperwork, SHIELD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 09:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2063673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Melinda May took an office job, she rejected a lot of budget requests. </p><p>Crackfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Budget Request Denied

**Author's Note:**

> For this prompt at comment-fic on lj: any spy organization, any, don't tick off the paperwork minions that can make or break a mission's viability

**Request #12798:** Rejected  
 **Reason for Rejection:** This operation is now $30,000 over budget. All you are trying to do is kill a man. You could kill him with a pencil, and pencils cost 7 cents. Stop being so wasteful.  
 **Authorization:** Melinda May, Budget and Logistics Officer

 

 **Request #12805:** Rejected  
 **Reason for Rejection:** Your exit strategy is idiotic. You're just going to get your whole team killed. And you think I'm going to pay for that? Please.  
 **Authorization:** Melinda May, Budget and Logistics Officer

 

 **Request #:12904** Rejected  
 **Reason for Rejection:** You do not need a $19,000 bow, Clint. Your aim is just fine as it is.  
 **Authorization:** Melinda May, Budget and Logistics Officer

 

 **Request #12947:** Rejected  
 **Reason for Rejection:** Although the science division is typically given a fair amount of leeway for risky projects, this request is unsuitable for SHIELD. P.S. You shouldn't assume that all desk jockeys are scientifically illiterate: I know that "attempt to invert the expansive properties of a diverse set of matter particles" actually means that you want to turn on the alien technology to full blast and see if the universe implodes. Not happening.  
 **Authorization:** Melinda May, Budget and Logistics Officer

 

 **Request #:12993** Rejected  
 **Reason for Rejection:** Fury already told you that this project was denied. You probably thought that us idiots in accounting and budget wouldn't notice. I don't know if that makes you stupid or an asshole. Probably both.  
 **Authorization:** Melinda May, Budget and Logistics Officer

\--

"I'm glad to see you back in the field, by the way," Phil said to Melinda after she had been on the team for a while, proud smile on his face.

"Yeah, not as glad as the people who sent me their paperwork," she said.

He pretended to have no idea what she was talking about.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Budget Request Denied](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3364508) by [dapatty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty)




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